Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Session
Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Session
Blog Article
Man, this gig really wastes. I'm so busted I could just fall asleep. All I wanna do is drink some coffee and stare at the wall for days. But first, gotta share a few Onion Knight memes to here defeat the struggle. Life is a real circus, man.
This corporate ladder you see? It's just a staircase leading to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about ambition, about scaling to the top and ruling your little empire. They paint a picture of success, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
You'll be long shifts, meetings that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing competitors. Your dreams? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your blazers will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of wellies
When you find yourself climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just blindly following the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Subject Line: "Important Meeting" - My Being: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a fictional onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I crave coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Perhaps it's wise to busy with something else.
- Will my soul ever recover?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Superhuman Might
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It could really use some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only a superhero could muster. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting material.
- Perhaps it's time to a squad of golems?
- This document demands a supercomputer
- I'm gonna need caffeine injections
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of relaxation this weekend is just hilarious. My desk is currently a monument of papers, each one demanding my undivided care. Honestly, I'm more thrilled about devouring this pile of assignments than I am about watching some Netflix. Maybe a weekend marathon of caffeine and printing is more my speed.
The Grind Makes Me Feel Like a Mule in the Office Jungle
I'm chained in this soul-crushing monster. Every day feels like I'm shuffling along, just another donkey in the factory. I'm burned out from dragging this weight day after day. I long about breaking free.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actuallyactually have animals that respect my labor.
- {Or maybe I'll start my own business and finally discover myself.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not healthy.